Thinking on Thursday

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All of these photos were pulled from Pinterest and sent to one of my good friends.  She is a photographer, she has a great eye, and I asked her if she would be willing to do a shoot of me, using these photos as inspiration. She seemed excited and totally on board. But…

My friend is vanilla – perhaps a bit twisty – but she has no clue how my life has changed, no clue about my D/s journey.  I’m not sure if I should go through with the shoot because if the subject comes up, will I be able to lie?  I hate lying, to anyone, about anything. I can keep quiet about plenty, but if asked a direct question, I prefer honesty. This is a real concern, our friendship has been on the backburner for a bit, but we are were very close and she is quite intuitive.

That’s what I’m thinking about today… Secret D/s problems.
Such a tough life! (wink, wink)

shygirl

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45 thoughts on “Thinking on Thursday

  1. You don’t have to lie. All you have to tell her is that you don’t go into detail about your sex life with friends and family. You’re doing this shoot for your husband and that should be it. If she’s a professional she’ll respect what you say. If you two have already opened up about a lot already then you need to seriously consider using someone else. Don’t put her in the position of having to keep a secret for you and then she has to constantly keep herself in check around you and others, depending on the circle of influence.

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    • I have never really talked about my sex life with friends – I don’t have many friends anyway. So, no issue there. But like you mention, I would never want her to have to keep secrets for me! I could use my sister, who is also a photographer, but she hasn’t had kids and I am concerned she might not be as sensitive to my few ‘mommy’ issues.

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  2. Those are stunning photos, very classy! Love ’em! Are you having them done just for you or as a gift for your Husband? Hmmm… why would your friend ask or suspect? I know what you mean, but I so wish that there was a friend in my real life that I could tell about our D/s journey. I have all this excitement bottled up inside, this big secret, but I don’t want to ruin any friendships because they probably won’t understand. Or am I giving them too little credit? My friends are ashamed to even admit they read FSOG!

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    • I’m going to do them as an anniversary gift (november). I’ve always wanted photos like this and have been working out tons so I feel more comfortable. I also wish I had a real friend to talk about D/s with…I’m fairly certain none of my existing ones would get it, their responses to FSOG confirms that.

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      • Aw, that’s an awesome gift!! Sure he will love it. shygirl doesn’t seem like the right nickname… it’s a brave thing to pose infront of somebody. I’ve also been wanting to go, but I still need to get my ass in gear and exercise first… need to tone before I will feel comfortable in front of a camera. Sounds like we’re in the same boat with our real life friends. I’ve learned that’s what online sub-port is for 😉

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  3. Major sub-Props to YOU!! I could never do a photo shoot barely dressed. I’d love to have that kind of nerve, though. You go girl!

    There’s nothing really kinky in these photos… Are you thinking of modeling some kink in the photos?? I think there are easy ways to avoid lying. If you want to wear cuffs in a photo, and she asks if you use them, you answer, “We have…” You’re shy right? (Uh, obviously!) That will go pretty far in evading the tough questions because she’s not going to WANT to ask you those questions. Are you afraid that she’ll judge? Maybe just send her an email in advance asking if she would be uncomfortable if the pictures featured some kinky props, then go from there. ???

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    • I really want to keep them more suggestive than blatant, if that makes sense. I would, however, love a photo of my arms cuffed behind my back. In theory, I could get a tripod and attempt to do that myself…but it’s so difficult to adjust lighting, position, camera settings, like that.
      If she found out, I don’t think she would judge but I don’t want her to have to keep a secret for me.

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      • She was…is…we were once super close. That is part of the reason I feel comfortable with her doing it. I helped her with college photo assignments a few years ago, she’s seen all my ‘flaws’ and will be sensitive towards them. Ahhhhh… So confused… Why would she even ask if she already knows it’s for anniversary?! Probably wouldn’t.

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      • Don’t stress yourself out about it. If you really want her to take the photos, and you are this worried, make it R rated but without the kink. If you really want the kink in the photos, hire a stranger.

        I think I would gauge her reaction. Send her a picture of something tame but BDSM, and ask her what she thinks. Like, instead of jumping right to cuffs, show her a picture of a beauty tied with satin scarves or something.

        You know, vanilla people sometimes tie up too!!! ;0)

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  4. What beautiful photos.. Honestly I don’t think she will ask.. Like Elle said of she is a professional photographer then she won’t.. I have a friend that I asked to do similar photo shoot for me.. She has no clue of my journey.. But was all about wanting to do shoot..and has not asked other than OMG your husband is going to love it!! You can always say its a fantasy or bucket list thing you want to do!! Go for it girl!!!! Same to you Elle just go for it.. I’m just waiting for my appt.. She is converting a room at her house Ono a studio so soon!!! Hey by the way love the title of this.. Thinking Thursday… You go girl!!

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  5. I can understand your trepidation. But I agree with the others on this one. So many women do “boudoir” photo shoots for their husbands and they are very vanilla people. I don’t think that she would really think twice about it other than what Sweetness said about him loving it! 😊

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  6. This is soooo on my bucket list! I’ve wanted to do a shoot like this for a long time! I would add in a few that were very provocative though…with cuffs and collar..and keep the rest suggestive! I’m waiting til the scars from surgery fade though.
    I’m not sure how I would handle the friend/photographer. It would be so very tempting to want to tell a close friend…but I never could. And I also wouldn’t want to lie….I can’t lie…I’m terrible at it! I think though…like the rest…that she probably wouldn’t ask! If she did…I like Elle’s response. …you don’t really talk about it! You just wanted to do something sexy for husband!
    I have a second pinterest account under cailinfire. …it is in no way tied to my vanilla pinterest account!

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  7. I agree with Elle have someone you do not know do the shots….but I do love all the ideas.
    Great idea Shygirl for your Sir he will love it.
    Lts♥

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      • We’ll than take Elle other advise which you wouldn’t be lying and you wouldn’t be telling your private life either.
        Lts♥

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      • I would do the shoot with a friend over a stranger, I would be more relaxed, and comfortable. I think your over thinking what might be discussed. She will want you to relax and enjoy the session, and will probably not even go to the extreme of the details of your sex life. However, if she asks about your sex life what’s wrong in telling her “oh girl we have a great sex life, and hubby is an amazing lover, and I want these photos to have some edge for him”? The art of disclosure!!
        Perhaps talk with her ahead of time and get her take in making them edgy and provocative. And I love pushing our limits idea of the silk or satin scarf, tied around wrists, over your eyes, ankles, etc could be very sexy. After all that’s what your going for right? Don’t hold back, be brave and go for it.💗🐱

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      • Thanks for this! I will email her tomorrow, with edgier examples and feel her out. I think it will be good. She already knows we have a lot of sex, but that’s it. I will definitely feel most comfortable with her versus a stranger. 🙂 I’m done overthinking this!!

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  8. It’s hard to keep this magical thing a secret … You never know how someone will react….
    So tell her you would like boudoir pics for your husband. That’s code for kinky sub pics for your husDom. Don’t get to personal. Let her do the talking. Se may surprise you with a secret of hers! Lol!
    I’m thinking of doing the same… There’s a lovely lady who pops in and out of my blog that takes pics.. And I may ask her to do some for me… Let me know if you go… Good luck…
    Hey next week please email me and lets catch up on your D/s progress… Ok?
    LK ❤🐇😊😊😊

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  9. I choose stranger, but that’s me. I’ve done many photo shoots and people I didn’t know got the best shots of me because I could go to another world in my head without any preconceived notions. People who know you will try and mold you into their idea of you, whereas someone who doesn’t know you sees you right in that moment and seems to get the purity of you. The camera will catch every nuance. Now being comfortable does go a long way and if you cannot be comfortable with a stranger then you will have to go with the friend. But I will say how quickly you can get very comfortable with an experienced stranger in a short amount of time. Also, I always preferred a heterosexual male photographer over a woman. My hottest head shots were taken by men and they were able to really pull out my sexiness. You have to flirt with the camera. Actually, you have to make love to the camera. Gay men were great for anything fashion, but for sexy, I have to be hot for the photographer.

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