Has it really already been a week? Has it only been a week? I have been inundated with sad this week. Not my sad, but sad from various people around me. I feel for them, though there is nothing to be done. One of the sad bits is the end of a relationship – my sister’s. Her marriage lasted just over three years and it seems they have grown apart – different goals, different life ideas. These things happen…but, naturally, it has me thinking…
Sir and I will be married 15 years next month. We had a child first, and then married relatively young, and we both have done a lot of changing and growing and evolving (and on occasion, some devolving), but we have done all of this together, with each other. With each growth, each change, we turned to one another and basically said “Hey, grow with me!”. And we did… our relationship has been the sunshine that we reach for in our growth, so that we are always headed in the same direction. Make no mistake, I know marriage is a ton of work. Relationships require constant acknowledgment, encouragement and assessment. I think, maybe, it is easier to grow apart. Life happens – the choices you make, the company you keep, the words you hear – all of it plays a role and can make things quickly go south.
Two people living together, but having separate lives, cannot work for long. Can it? Can you separate your work self from your married self and keep that up? Can you have a healthy relationship while thinking, being and living only for yourself? Maybe you can, i’m sure people do, but I cannot. In every thing I do, in every action I take, I always keep my Husband in mind. He doesn’t know this, or maybe He does, but I’ve never come out and said it. I want to please Him, yes, but more than that I want to make sure our marriage stays strong and happy.
It has been seven hours since I wrote that top part, and I now know quite a bit more about the situation. It would seem my sis and her husband were not a good fit from the get-go. It is still sad, but is for the best.
I am very grateful that Sir and I are a perfect fit and that we can grow side by side, always with common goals and ideas.
I wonder…how did you know you found your perfect fit and how do you ensure that you do not grow apart?
Thinking Thursday has become rambling Thursday… sorry about that. It’s hard to finish a post in one sitting lately!