almost is not enough

I am almost there. 
I am still almost there.  Every single time I get to the point where I feel it, my brain thinks “yes, this is happening” and then it is out the window.  The experience is still fantastic and great and all of those things, but it isn’t there.

Maybe I take that back, I’m fairly certain it happened in the shower last week, but with so much water anyway, I refuse to count it. 

So I’m stuck at almost there and I’m really hung up on it.  I know, I should enjoy the ride (believe me, I enjoy every ride and every single type of orgasm I have) but I feel a little jilted.  I feel a little bit broken.  I feel like I am disappointing my Sir (He, of course, would say that is crazy!).  He is doing everything right, my brain just takes me out of it.  At this point, I’m trying to let it go and not even worry about it.  So what, I haven’t squirted?!  I have a ridiculous amount of orgasms, I should be content. But nooooooo, that isn’t good enough… because I am almost there.  I feel it. I want it. And still…I deny it. 

I don’t want to be almost there forever.

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9 thoughts on “almost is not enough

  1. Oh Shygirl! I’m sorry you’re struggling with this, but you’ll get there! We all have those mental blocks to knock over….it may take some time….but you can do it!
    Geek question…..are you well hydrated? I mean really well hydrated?
    In the shower is a good place to begin if youre struggling with the mental aspect of letting go….give yourself permission to make a mess!
    Maybe ask permission to experiment on your own with the wand….you know….for research purposes! I can only make myself squirt with the wand….I’ve never been able to any other way on my own.

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    • Thanks. I think my issues are that (1.) I don’t want to pee. I know you guys say I won’t, everything I read says I won’t, but it sure feels similar! (Don’t even get me started on my hangups with birthing my children!!) (2.) To really let go, I have to be able to make noise…and i’m loud if i’m not very careful. Seeing as all this practice is going on with children upstairs in bed… I ALWAYS have to be semi-focused on my noise level. I’ve thought about a gag…but i’m a little apprehensive about that. I’d be willing to try, it’s not a hard limit, but still.

      And no, I’m not well hydrated. Water is my second favorite drink and I do drink a lot, BUT I also drink a lot of coffee. And then sometimes we have an adult beverage in the evenings. So, I guess I should drink more water.

      I am fairly certain it happened in the shower (uh, my hand was there…and felt different. And as much as I like shower sex, sometimes i’d just like to be dry…well not dry EVERYWHERE. Ha!

      I was almost there again last night…

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      • I dealt/deal with those same issues! It can feel similar to the sensation of peeing….but I can tell there is a build up now….right before, I can feel it “coming”! When you hone in on that feeling. …it becomes easier to just let go!
        Ah yes…the noise factor. I too am so loud at times my husband has to put his hand over my mouth! I’ve always been that way! Don’t know why?!? I’ve never used a gag either….not a limit for me either….we just haven’t tried that yet. I do love his hand over my mouth though!

        Girl….I drink more coffee and tea than are good for me! And I know I don’t drink enough water….but I’m doing better at it! We occasionally have wine or beer in the evenings or mixed drinks on the weekend for me! Yum!

        Keep at it! It took me a long while to get past my hangups….but now I’m at his mercy….he just takes when he wants! ♥

        Ps….I got my gloves and pole ready for the weekend! *giggle*

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  2. Shygirl,
    You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. You keep at it. I just bought a G-Spot vibe and I will let you know how it works. It is supposed to have you squirting… Keep letting your Sir stimulate you…. Try that double penetration while using wand…. It will take you higher faster and that release is almost inevitable…
    Email me if you need to… HUGS!

    LK

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    • I am trying now to stop thinking about it. I bought a G-spot vibe, tried it last night for the first time. Great orgasms, great sex to follow but…no squirting. I’m thinking I need a gag and to be completely immobilized…or I need the kids out of the house! As soon as I recognize the sensation, I kind of lose it. So close…Still! Oh well, there are worse problems to have! 😉

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