I am easily overwhelmed.
I am often overwhelmed. Sometimes, this feeling comes as a horrible, crushing weight that I cannot get out from under; a weakness that I’m ashamed of and makes me angry.
Other times, this feeling presents itself as moments of pure love. In those moments, I cannot give enough, I cannot take enough, I cannot do either fast enough. In those moments, I am overwhelmed with need and desire. In those moments, I just want to soak up the love but when I do, it is all too much and not enough…my brain cannot keep up. I cannot hold all that emotion and it can be a little scary.
I begin to drown in the love, in the Dominance. I drown in Him and I want to keep sinking. Sometimes, I hit that quiet abyss and pray that I can stay there forever. I marvel at the overwhelming feelings that hold me down yet lift me up. Tears spill over, breathing is not an option, and time stands still. I become part of that ocean and then I disperse amongst it.
Of course, I must always gather myself and drift back up… gulping as fast as I can, taking as much as I can. I want to swallow it all, but a girl’s gotta breathe. When I break the surface, I am content – knowing that I am loved, hoping that I love enough. Wanting so much for Him to feel all of this, in His own way. I hope sometimes He drowns like I do. I hope I overwhelm Him.
Because I know for certain that being overwhelmed can be a strength and a blessing.