2013: It’s been real

I have had three really pivotal years.  These are not the years my children were born, though those were life-altering and wonderful, for sure.  These are not the years of big moves or weddings or jobs.  These are the years that changed the fabric of my being, the years that shaped and molded my soul.

1990.  Certainly not my favorite, but a life-changer for sure.

1997.  The year I made my wisest decision, despite obstacles left and right.

2013.   A game-changing, world-upending, dream-fulfilling year.

You read that right, 2013 shaped up to be an impact year of the highest caliber…and it isn’t quite finished!  No denying it, this year was filled with turmoil.  Outwardly, I probably looked the same to most people, but I started the year in quiet despair.  I was coming to terms with who I was and who I wasn’t.  I was trying to figure out if what I thought, what I knew, myself to be was a viable option for my Husband.  I debated and fought with myself… do I pursue, do I drop the act, or do I try to bury myself again.  Turns out, burying what is already dug up doesn’t exactly work.  With no other option, I came clean.

In 2013,  I cried rivers of tears  – some silent and solitary, some loud and over-the-top.  I cried more this year than ever before, I think.  Becoming who you really are is hard work and, at times, very ugly.

In 2013, I battled my self-esteem, my fear, my doubt, my shy… I haven’t quite won the war, but I will continue to fight.

In 2013, my Husband became my Sir, my Dominant.  That He was willing to offer that of Himself, and take me on in that manner, has proven far beyond my wildest dreams.  He is Sir not only in the bedroom, but in LIFE, and I am perpetually smitten and amazed with Him.

In 2013, I have tried to communicate better.  It is probably the single hardest thing for me to do, but well worth the struggle.

In 2013, relationships around me have crashed and burned while Sir and I have gotten stronger.  I also let some friendships and associations fall by the wayside because I just don’t have the time or energy for toxicity in my life – but it made for some lonely times.

In 2013, I made some friends (okay, they are online, but I’m fairly certain they are TRUE) that understand and support.  That is what friends are supposed to do, I think, and I hope to be that sort of friend, too.

In 2013, there were trials, tests, frustration, loss, anger, self-doubt, but there was much more understanding, love, happiness, PEACE, acceptance and growth.

In 2013, I was able to quiet my mind.  Those moments have been brief, but they are there for the first time in my 36 years. That is HUGE.

2013 will go down in history as a monumental year for my relationship with my Husband.  D/s has affected absolutely every aspect of our lives and we (and the family)are so much better for it.  (Sir, you would agree, I’m sure??)

I am confident that 2014 will be fantastic around here – with happiness, love, and laughter, how could it not? … never mind all of the delicious, kinky fuckery to be had!

Here’s to a very Happy New Year!!

newyear

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6 thoughts on “2013: It’s been real

  1. Come on 2014… Here’s hoping it is to me what 2013 was for you!!

    Happy New Year, friend! I hop it is loaded with all the pleasure and pain (the good kind!) you can tolerate! 😉

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  2. We’re all there with you. This year brought it all up for me too. I ended 2012 having already asked my Sir and then we s…l…o…w…l…y started this journey in 2013. My Sir said last night that it’s all a good thing that tons of feelings have been dredged up over this year. Anyone who doesn’t have that happen isn’t pushing themselves beyond their comfort zone and that’s the only way you grow. I am so happy to call you my friend and laugh and learn and share with you. Happy New Year!

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