That kind of friend…


This is the kind of friend I try to be am.  During the year of discovery, otherwise known as 2013, I realized that I didn’t have ANY friends of this caliber.  I am a giver, they are takers.  Of course, I played a major role in facilitating those lop-sided relationships – I own that sad little fact. I also own the fact that I woke up, realized (with help) that it was causing me unnecessary grief, and began cutting ties. I quit a job that I really loved because the grown-ups around me were filled with hateful words and ugly thoughts – in a setting where it was ABSOLUTELY hypocritical and uncalled for.  I drifted far away from my best friend, even though it left me very lonely.  I know my thankful list was yesterday, but I am so indebted and thankful to my Sir for giving me a greater understanding of what is important in life and what real friends are made of … and for helping me find the strength to burn those toxic bridges.  A few more bridges may be alight soon, but I am prepared.  Those fires will keep me warm inside and guide my way.



9 thoughts on “That kind of friend…

  1. I’ve gone through a similar transition. The hardest part was the time just after you let go and you are in the in-between. Not quite to the goal of being surrounded by a supportive community and away from the past. It’s lonely while you wait for the positive to fill into the space you created. It always does, even if it’s slow at the beginning.


  2. I get it, too. If you want to read my conclusions about exactly this same kind of experience, I’ve posted the piece on my blog. (My blog hasn’t been around for long, so it’s easy to find, but if you need me to, I’ll find it for you.)The fact is that being in a tight relationship of our sort makes it far easier to see the truth and quality in other relationships.


    • It’s called “philosophy of relationship: I” and I posted it as one of the very first on my blog (Dec 18). I hope you’ll read it because this is a very personal and important subject for me, and I would like to connect with other women who share the experience. It isn’t comfortable but it is necessary.


  3. I understand that completely. I can honestly say that right now, i do not have any friends. I love lone sincere talks transparency and intimacy. The people that I have surrounded myself with in the past, call anyone on Facebook “a friend”. TD Jakes said that friends are people that you can invest yourself in, and likewise they are invested in you. Some people may infatuate you, but limit yourself to the dedicate few. I had to eliminate many one night stand friends-there for fun but not committed. I believe that they will be replaced someday but real people who can see me for who I am- and still want to be part of my life- and whom I can give myself to. As what we are. we love to give- it is our nature- we just need a good safe place to do what we do best. XXXX and Happy New Years!!!!!!


  4. I have very few people I would call real friends. There are two from growing up that will always have special place in my heart, but they moved long ago. Honestly, there’s no one aside from my Sir in real life. I have met some amazing friends through the blog though, and I can’t wait to meet them!


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