prelude to a trip

shipsafe2

Leaving is not my favorite thing.
The travelling is not the greatest, but I like the arriving well enough.
The final destination makes me very happy. This time around, it has been too long in between.
But the leaving? Oh it is HARD.

Getting ready to leave requires extensive work.
There are lists, on top of lists, on top of lists.
There is shopping to be done, schedules to be made, plans to get in order.

There are feelings that must dealt with, for months, weeks, days.
There is joy and excitement.
There is anxiety, fear, and some sadness.
There is self-esteem to be bolstered, walls to put up, walls to knock down.
There is worry. And doubt. And questions.

There is a lot of fucking to be done.
There are many spankings to be received.
There is an abundance of love to be shared.

There are kids’ feelings to soothe.
There are apologies to make.
There are many thanks to give.

There are words! Kind words, comforting words.
There are words of ownership, words of love.
There are very many dirty words.

There are expectations.
There is pressure.
There are nerves and doubts.
There are overwhelming feelings and underwhelming reflections.

There are lists. Did I already mention the lists?
Packing lists, revised packing lists, school lists, activity lists, work lists, more packing lists… so many lists!!!!!!

I know I am a baby. I also know this leaving business is HARD.
Leaving is the only choice available to me right now.
So I will suck it up and I will leave.
I will focus on the destination and look forward to the arrival.
I cannot wait to get there!!
airplane

this cannot go on forever.

figuredout

~shygirl

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