disobedience not tolerated

“Your Dom will take disobedience seriously, because they care enough to make you obey.”

I’ve been working on this post for weeks and just deleted every last word. Ahhh!
I know punishment and/or correction isn’t a part of every D/s relationship. I also know there are many differing views on it.

That said, Sir does take corrective action when I disobey or step out of line. He is not overly strict, but I am never allowed to be disrespectful. I can disagree (at certain times), I can ask for something to be explained or expounded on, I can get angry… But I must always stay humble and am never to do it in a way that’s disrespectful.

Let me tell you, that’s harder than it sounds!! I have quite the mouth on me and bad words are like a security blanket when I’m upset. Seriously, the struggle is real.

I hate getting in trouble. I hate disappointing Sir. But I love that He cares enough to put a stop to it. There was a little while there, where I wasn’t doing so great with all the things life was throwing at me, and He eased up, let me get away with a bit more. You’d think I’d appreciate the leeway. Nope, not me! Instead, I felt like I didn’t really matter, like He did not care. That wasn’t the case, but I felt it in my soul… And also felt bad, wrong, fucked up for missing His punishment, something that I hate anyway. I could not figure out why I hated His graciousness or why I needed Him to be harder on me. I really needed firm direction and strict guidance. I was foundering and I was a mess!

And then I came across that quote at the top and something clicked. I think I even said outloud “Yes! That!”. I sent it to my Sir immediately. No comments, just the quote. He seemed to agree and we had a conversation. He explained His easiness with me. I know now that He was coming out of a place of love and concern. His leniency was out of care for my fragility. I let Him know it was not working!! Things immediately got back to normal.

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These days I don’t need a whole lot of correction because I’ve grown – just don’t ask about this morning. 😉 When I do happen to fall back into my old ways, Sir is right there to remind me of who I am and how I am to behave. Whether it’s right or wrong, I still need His correction and I am so thankful that Sir cares enough to make me obey.

~shygirl

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old problems, new generation

I know this is a D/s blog. But I’m not just a submissive, I’m a mom of three and life is life. So if you’re looking for sexy or D/s tales, this post ain’t it.

My oldest is almost an adult. In a few short months she’ll be 18 and in some months after that, she’ll graduate high school.

She is an extremely intelligent, brave, empathetic, sensitive, beautiful soul… and she pisses me off like none other. It’ll pass. I know that it will. She’ll be an awesome human being and we’ll laugh about these times.

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As much as she angers me, seeing her hurting angers me tenfold.
She has shitty friends, and I think maybe I’ve failed her in that way.
I think maybe I didn’t impart the wisdom I know to be true…

I didn’t tell her that “friends” hurt you.
I didn’t tell her that they take and take and take until you are all used up.
I didn’t tell her soon enough not to let them in.
I didn’t tell her not to confide in them, because it’ll all be used against you.
I didn’t tell her everyone is out for themselves.
I didn’t tell her often enough to have a thick skin.
Or to be a duck and let it roll.
I didn’t impart my motto with enough gusto…

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Oh you guys.. I know you all have the best friends, a lot of wonderful friends you’ve had since forever. Friends that have your back, full of love and light. I know they exist… Just never really in my world (with two special exceptions, if you count Sir).

Maybe I’ve failed my daughter a little bit. She is hurting and I am helpless. Today I am channeling all of my ‘fuck ’em, and be a badass’ vibes, with the help of Tim Armstrong, and telling her to always stand up, and stand for something. If you feel like it, send up a good thought for her.

[These lyrics were NOT online… So I only wrote down the first verse and chorus, eight kinds of old school! ]

Who are they to talk shit to you
When they didn’t know nothin’?
And I am one who’s seen you go
From top to higher than them.

Do what you want. Do what you can.
Do anything, man. I don’t understand.
Do what you like. Do what you might.
Don’t take shit, man. Always fight.
Don’t let them take ya. Don’t let them break ya.
Don’t let them ever forsake ya.
Hey now, do what you want.”
                                        -Tim Armstrong

Thanks for letting me get that out… Back to D/s tomorrow. ❤
~shygirl

thinking [take it away] thursday

Sir and I have a lot of things...
Many small rituals, many things that Sir does to help me and my brain.

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I love them all…
The rope while I’m working
The demands to kneel in public
The pictures He requests
The sitting on the floor
The nightly hair brushing
The words I write on my body
The cuffs and collar (even on date night!)
The necklace
The ring
The bracelet
The tasks
The choking
The beatings
The “little light”
The “Su-B”
The removal of panties in the middle of the store
The play
The rules
All the millions of other things that are outward expressions of our relationship.

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But if you took it all away?
If all of those things were suddenly gone?
What would we have then?

Hmmmmmm…
I would still have a Dominant.
He would still have a submissive.
We would still have a deeply rooted, 24/7 D/s relationship.

Why? Because…
D/s is not about the “things”.
It’s not about the tasks, or the sex, or all of the lovely reminders.
D/s is who we are. As people. As a couple.
D/s is not something that can be taken away.
It will not fade into oblivion because, just as we actively tend to our marriage, we tend to our D/s dynamic.
Oh, perhaps some of the things will fall by the wayside… they’ll most certainly evolve and change… That is life and that is okay.

But holy crap, I love all of it!!! Let’s be real…
I love everything Sir does for me, with me, TO me.
And yes, sometimes I get a little pouty if I think there is something I’m missing. I am a needy girl, after all.
But when it really comes down to it, I know in my heart that the only thing I need is Sir, not the things.

I am submissive to Him, in all things, in all ways, for the rest of my days.

That is 24/7. That is D/s. That is marriage.
That is love.

Happy Thursday.
~shygirl