thinking [do it for the donuts] thursday

There is a meeting at my son’s school monthly, for dads and kids. Sir and son always go and I recently asked the boy what his favorite part is. Is it hanging out with his dad? No. Is it listening to the message? No. The prizes? No. Then what?! Why does he drag my Sir to 6:45 am meetings?

“Mom. I do it for the donuts.”

Well that was an honest answer, if I’d ever heard one! I laughed and laughed. Who wants donuts so early anyway? We don’t deprive the children of the occasional donut treat! But it got me thinking…

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…meanwhile… I’ve read quite a number of posts lately about writing – the motivation, the process, the whys and the hows. I’ve read some that resonated and a few that didn’t. My bgff even wrote one recently. Well, that got me thinking some more (uh oh, I know)… why do I write? But more specifically than that, why do I BLOG? Am I doing it for the donuts??!!

Let’s see-
I have always written. I began as a child and never stopped. Poetry, stories, journals of sorts. I’ve written to sort my feelings. I’ve written as a form of self-soothing. I’ve written to work out problems. I’ve written just to release thoughts and ideaa into the world. I’ve written to laugh, to cry, to scream. I’ve written to understand and to be understood.

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I blog because… Hmmm. This is where it gets tricky. I’ve had a few blogs on different sites, different names, different subjects, but this blog was started so I would not feel so alone, I suppose. I blogged to find a community, and support, as Sir and I were evolving into full-time D/s. It worked, mostly. I felt less weird and made some friends. As I took friendships out of WP and into real life, I began blogging (and reading) less. I didn’t feel the need to share with the world. I still wrote, just not as publicly. It waxed and waned. I still struggle with the sharing.

I’ll admit, just as on any social site, the likes and the comments fueled my fire a bit. Everyone wants some sort of approval, to strike a chord, to have someone, especially those close to you, say wow, good job. Do you see? Those accolades are the donuts!

I do not want to do it for the donuts! I do not EVER want to be that girl. I also don’t want to share too much or make things less special (that’s probably it’s very own post).  I just want to talk it out, through written word. I want to maybe, perhaps, offer a little bit of insight for those feeling like I did those years ago. But most importantly, blogging is a semi-removed way to express my thoughts and feelings to a select few, especially Sir. Posts are a little safer for my heart, I can be more open with all the feelers, because it is just a dumb blog, after all. If I get a ‘like’ here and there, great. If not, that’s alright too.

And if I ever start simply doing it for the donuts, I’ll shut it down.

Happy Thursday.
~shygirl

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8 thoughts on “thinking [do it for the donuts] thursday

  1. I write for Mr F … is He my donut…. no, He is something far greater. He has given me my blog and through my blog I have … found some of the most amazing creatures who have in turn given me so much of their kindness and support that I no longer feel like a freak.

    I write to Mr F because I barely see Him or even speak to Him… but I need to tell Him things. I did wonder for a while if He ever read it … He does and He reads about the creatures who have helped heal me.

    I write to Mr F because I love Him

    I don’t like donuts … I don’t like prizes and recognition. But I do love the people I have met here with all my heart. To have people comment and like what I write is …. mind blowing – but for them to allow me into their lives – to allow me … just little messy chaotic me into their lives is just such an honour … and like Mr F something I treasure so greatiy.

    Maybe I do like donuts … but the simple English ones … warm, covered in castor sugar and a little teasing of raspberry jam … ones where as a child you couldn’t lick your lips till all gone …. then the final treat, lips coated in sugar …

    I think your an amazing girl xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    • This is lovely.
      I write to Sir outside of this blog, as well. I don’t ever want my public writing to come from the wrong place… I really questioned myself lately… Should I not spoil the ‘special’ and keep things out of a public forum.

      Like

  2. Why is it wrong to do it for the donuts? For instance, your son and his father. He does it for the donuts, but don’t you think he gets something else out of it too? The time he is spending with his father doesn’t mean much to him now, but the memories will sustain him through some of life’s toughest obstacles. So I say, do it for the donuts, and see if in the end, you didn’t stick around for something else entirely.

    Like

  3. Absolutely! Ive never written much of anything until the last few years. For me, its become a form of therapy I never knew existed. Whether it’s sad or funny or sexy or nothing at all. It feels good to express myself…even if I’m the only one who reads it. Great post! 🙂

    Like

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