perfect, I’m not

I’m no angel.
I make bad choices.
I am needy.
I am insecure.
I think too much.
I say mean things.
I have a temper.
I am not trusting.
I cry.
I yell.
I am anxious.
I am nervous.
I am scared.
I am quiet.
I talk too much.
I beat dead horses.
I give up.
I am jealous.
I am impatient.
I am contradictory.
I am stubborn.
I am a walking disaster.

My flaws are plentiful and I am acutely aware of them every single day.
I am not blameless.
In anything.

I work to balance/solve/lessen my shortcomings.
I am loyal.
I am honest.
I am funny.
I have great willpower.
I try.
I put in real effort.
I love so fucking hard.

The good doesn’t outweigh the bad, does it? Damn.
How lucky I am that my Husband, my Sir, loves me so much!
Maybe He loves me so much, there’s no room for anything else.
Maybe the universe has already given me more than I deserve.

My sister made a joke recently about a Tinder for friends. It’s hard to find friends, make friends, keep friends.
Maybe Tinder would be better like… Hey…
No pressure, I just want coffee & giggles!
No commitment, let’s go see a movie!
No feelings, ever… But a shopping day would be nice!
No real anything, let’s just have a bit of fun!
And then on to the next.
Comeradrie, no substance.
Easy. Breezy.
Sounds good, right?!
Not to me –
I’m shy and awkward.
Plus I have all those issues!
So what’s a girl like me to do?

I’ll throw myself into my submission.
I’ll sink into the love, into Sir.
I’ll work on my problems.
I’ll let everything else fall away.


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