We are not fancy people, Sir and I.
No, we are more like the comfy jeans…or the soup…of humans.
I mean, we clean up really well and I do love to put on a fancy dress and stilettos, or skinnies and stilettos, or nice shorts and stilettos…oh wait… I was talking about something…
Ah, yes. We aren’t fancy.
Though I do like getting dressed up, I rarely have occasion to do so. I think the last time I put on heels was when a friend came to town a year and a half ago. Well, that’s the last time I left the house in 4″ heels, anyway. 😉
Okay so we aren’t fancy dressers, but that’s just clothes. We also aren’t fancy on the inside. We are not lazy or unmotivated – we are just… casual. Though we take plenty of things quite seriously, we don’t take ourselves too seriously.
So of course, we do D/s casually.
Are you confused? How can I say we are 24/7, that this is life, but also say we do it casually?!
Stay with me.
I don’t mean we are casual about D/s, like it is something iffy or wavering.
I mean, We are not high-protocol, because that would be entirely too fancy for us. We have rules and rituals, sure. We have structure to this dynamic. But the best of structures allow for a bit of movement.
There are things that are simply fact:
He is Dom. I am sub.
He leads. I follow.
He is the Boss. I
try super hard to obey.
I am well aware that if I break a rule, there will be a consequence. I need that, it makes me feel loved.
But… I have been known to push the limits, to behave in a way to simply illicit a reaction. Sometimes, it is cute and funny. Other times, not so much and there is big trouble.
I feel like, because we are casual people, the D/s dynamic has been folded right into our lives. We changed some mechanics of our relationship, but we, as people, stayed the same. (The essence of us, anyway. We gave both grown in so many ways!)
If we practiced high-protocol, I think we would both feel rather stifled and as if we were playing at a role. I would probably feel like I had to hide the real (cheeky, hilarious) me. I know I can be a bit much to handle, but I’m fairly certain Sir likes that about me. (Right?)
There was a time at the beginning of this D/s thing when I wished we were a bit more formal. I thought formality would make it more real, I guess. I thought that rigidity = control. I thought if what we were doing didn’t look like what I’d read, then we weren’t doing it right. I compared and contrasted entirely too much in those early days and I am here to tell you, I was wrong.
Sir and I are not fancy and neither is our D/s (or our marriage, for that matter). And that is okay!
Maybe we don’t look how people think a D/s relationship should look. Maybe we are far too silly. Maybe we are too casual. Perhaps it looks like we are too laid-back in this dynamic, even though we are quite committed to it as a way of life. Perhaps people question our 24/7-ness.
Maybe I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks!
I know who I am. I know who Sir is. I know what we are together. I know that our D/s is real 24/7, our marriage is real, our love is real.
We are not fancy, but this thing we have is so fucking solid! We didn’t have to choose. We can be 24/7 and still fly casual. (get that reference?)
This post has lived up to the name – I basically thought outloud on the screen as I typed in the dark. If you made it through, thanks!