firewater

The ground opened up
and swallowed me whole
plunged into the fire,
not sure where to go

Air thick with ash
I couldn’t catch my breath
Wandering through the days
An ugly living death

Every waking moment
Wanting to move along
Memories cutting open
Repeating like a song

The hope just flew away
Prices to be paid
Falling to my knees
Praying to be saved

Heeding the message:
Learn to forgive.
Eyes finally opened
I wanted to live

The sky opened up
A deluge of rain
Fell out of nowhere
Washed away the pain

All that was lost
Now flooded the fire
Cleansing water around me
Lifted me higher

Swimming toward the surface
Finally breathing deep
Floating on my back
This I will keep

~shygirl

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5 thoughts on “firewater

    • Thank you. The journey of self-forgiving is so new to me, but yes, it is proving very difficult! I have to purposely change the dialogue in my head about a zillion times a day… and sometimes I just can’t. But.. sometimes, I CAN! even for a just a minute…it makes a difference.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re welcome! Me too. It will probably be a lifelong, willful process, but a necessary one, for me at least. I wanna live and love wholeheartedly! Purposefully! Without that ever-present shame and guilt, and distrust in myself. And in the moment, which is probably the next most difficult thing for me. It will be a lifelong pursuit, and I’m okay with that.

        I think acceptance of ourselves and the days we can’t, and allowing those shitty feelings to be felt and cycled though is what gets us to the deeper levels of understanding of ourselves and our patterns, which helps the next time, and the next, so that we always learn more and be our best selves! Just my two cents.

        Every second makes a difference! Go, Shy!💜

        Like

  1. “Swimming toward the surface
    Finally breathing deep
    Floating on my back
    This I will keep”

    I will keep this picture in mind on the days that are hard, filled with self-doubt and self-punishment, when my thoughts just go round in a vicious circle.
    Thank you, it was another beautiful poem.

    Liked by 1 person

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