thinking [fast forward] thursday


There are some days you just want to fast forward right on past.
Maybe it’s the day all the bills are due.
Maybe it’s a doctor visit.
Maybe it’s the day your world went sideways.
Maybe it’s simply a day with a lot of things to do.
Whatever the reason, these days are on the calendar.
And they are mocking you, taunting you, daring you to forget.
But you cannot forget!
In fact, as the day creeps ever closer, your world starts to crumble.
The air around you becomes too thick to breathe.
The blood inside you seems to be waning, siphoned and spilled onto the ground.
The weight on your shoulders causing visible knots and tangible pain.
The thoughts!
Oh the thoughts in your head begin to gnaw at everything good until there is only THIS ONE DAY left.
This one day, that needs to hurry up with it.
This day needs to come and go!
This day is ruining all the things.
You try so hard to reset your mind.
You try to focus on everything good.
You try to block it out.
You try to remember all the work it’s taken to get here.
You know this day shouldn’t hold any power.
You know it should be just another day, just another thing that you’ll overcome.
Rationalizing doesn’t work so you succumb to the impending doom.
You let it out and you talk it through, probably daily for a while.
And you move through time.
Because it’s the only option.
And soon enough the day will come, and you’ll survive.
Of course you’re going to survive!
That’s how you roll.
But still, you’d much rather fast forward.

Happy Thursday! Here’s to all the things on the calender we’d rather not see – may they come and go quickly!


2 thoughts on “thinking [fast forward] thursday

  1. As soon as I can see these days on the calendar, my heart starts racing and anxiety levels rise quickly. I try rationalizing with little or no success. Of course I know I will survive that day but a few days before the eventful day I can’t eat properly, don’t sleep properly either, my body and mind are in turmoil and as soon as that day has passed, I’m fine, trying to find ways to cope better next time…I’m still trying.
    I am obviously not happy to see you’d like to fast forward some days in your calendar but your post has helped me, now that I know I’m not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

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