There is this situation that I cannot quite wrap my mind around. I have tried various approaches, but nothing seems to make any difference. Neither honesty nor directness, not jokes or hints, neither questions nor conversation, not silence or blocking. Nothing! I cannot tell which way is up, right or left. It has been driving me crazy and the other day, I felt like I’d exhausted all of my options, so I decided to lay it all at Sir’s feet. He had been kept up to date, generally, but the specifics I held onto. Sometimes, I just really like to handle things myself, in my time, you know? I am almost positive Sir is fine with this, because He knows when it becomes too much, I will always go to Him. I went to Him (in writing) and laid it all out. Everything: Everything I was thinking and feeling. Everything I’d tried and said. Absolutely everything pertaining to the situation – big, small, happy, ugly. I told Him, I just don’t know what to do and was hoping He had a fresh perspective or advice.
Well, of course He did! Everytime I go to Him like this, I always wish I had asked sooner. Not because He necessarily has the answers (though many times He does) or because He magically fixes everything in my world, but because He makes me remember that I am not alone. Ever. For anything. He is so kind and optimistic – when my hope falters He always lifts it back up. However, when need be, He brings me back to reality.
This time, His reply was lengthy and overflowing with comfort, friendship and understanding, but He also insisted on some of those painful, hard truths. The insight He offered wasn’t shocking, but it was full of sad words that I needed (not wanted!) to hear in order to move forward in this topsy-turvy situation. I don’t want to share His words, but the pictures give the gist.
D/s is so much more than sex and protocol. It runs in our veins and saturates every cell in our bodies. Never have I felt the level of trust and understanding that I feel now, with Sir, my Husband. The hardest things to say and hear are the things that most desperately need to be let out… that is trust. That is love. That is D/s.