thinking [bead advice] thursday

When on a quest for the holy grail that is anal beads, there are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Seams are NOT good. Oh sure, to the finger it feels like only a slight disturbance, a barely noticeable line. However, stick those suckers where the sun don’t shine and that little seam feels like a hacksaw. I’m into pain, but not like that!

2. Rigidity between the beads. Too hard and you’d be better off using a fun dildo. Too stretchy, and you will probably just obsessively worry it’s going to snap! 

3. Size does matter. I like some graduation in my beads. Or even all the same decent size would work, too. But jumping around willy nilly, from marble to ping pong ball size, makes too little sense for me to even enjoy. 

4. It all gets very slippery. Trying to hold on to, and insert, a slippery ball can be an adventure all its own! Be prepared for laughter and slipping.

5. Numbers. Just because there are eight beads on the strand, does not mean all eight need to go up your ass. Maybe you like a just few, or six… Whatever your number, it’s fine! Go with what feels good.

6. Relax. As always with anything anal, nothing is going to make a pleasant journey inside if you are tense. Chill out (and a little pushing out helps too).

I’m still on the prowl for my ideal beads, but with each set purchased, we get a little closer to finding them! I’ve been doing anal for a few decades and sometimes things just don’t work – plugs, beads, toys, dicks – can all be a test of patience and extensive trial and error. What fun it is to experiment! Around here, we call that science! 

Happy Thursday!

For science!


… in summary

Today, I’ve started six posts on this app, and another four in a notebook. In case you’re as tired as I am, that equals TEN posts. Nothing is fully fleshed because my mind is spinning, so much to say, but unable to focus on any one thing. I need to get it out, but wonder if this is the place. 

I’m not even sure what this blog has become. I started it as a place to find camaraderie as Sir and I delved into the depths of 24/7 D/s; a journal of sorts, especially when I needed to work through the bumps in the road. It seemed an effective form of therapy when life threw too much at me. 

I’ve shared bits and pieces, silly fluff that made me smile, but I have also bared my entire soul.

I’ve detailed my flaws and my fears, but still tried to chronicle a whole lot of love and so many blessings. 

I’ve written in-depth about submission and what that means to me.

I’ve mentioned my family, and cried about the heart breaking trials that motherhood brings.

At times, this blog was my only friend aside from Sir.

I’ve posted detailed, intimate sex stories and revealing photos of myself.

I have made many a list and shared music that is dear to my heart.

I’ve broken down, gone overboard, fallen apart, and put myself back together.

I have deleted entries and made others private.

I’ve started sharing poetry, after decades of keeping it all to myself.

Ive taken so many breaks, extended leaves of absence.

…it all seems so disjointed, unthematic, a barely controlled chaos. A heated mess. Yet, there are people that continue to follow me and interact in the kindest of ways. There are plenty more that have jumped ship – I wonder about them from time to time.

So now, three years in the making, what exactly is this blog of mine about? Submission? Yes! Love? Yes. Sex, lists, words? Yes. My whole life? Yes, that too. Mostly though, I’d have to say this blog is about truth. My truth. Every single post is honest, real, ME – good, bad, and most definitely the ugly. 

I saw a prompt that asked “Where are you most you?” That is the easiest answer, I am most me when I am with Sir. There is no pretending or hiding with Him, not anymore. Aside from Him, though, I am most me on this blog. It may not always be concise (okay, never!), organized, or presented well, but this is me. 

Thanks for sticking around. Thanks for reading. You know me better then most.

Happy Monday!


That popped up in my facebook feed this morning, and it got me in the feels.

Often times I feel like such a load to carry, a burden to bear, a mess to clean up – it weighs heavy on my heart.

Sir is always willing to get down, get dirty, and scoop me up. He never complains about holding me together or tossing me over His shoulder to get us both to safer land. Almost 20 years of His unwavering love and support and He still makes me swoon. I just don’t have enough words, enough time, enough life to give Him proper thanks.

He is my hero. He is my love. He is my everything.


Happy Friday.