old bridge new

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Standing on the bridge
We forgot where to go
You leapt off the edge
And hit the ocean floor

I sat down for a moment
Numb in disbelief
tears rose like the tide
Flooding into grief

Vision blurred and wavy
I struck the match but quick
Dropped it at my feet
Flames began to lick

Fire consumed the bridge
Feet rooted to the wood
I stood my ground and burned
The way I knew I should

My eyes closed in pain
Ready to succumb
Letting go of ghosts and such
Everything just numb

As soon as I gave up
The bridge crumbled down to sea
I fell into the salty water
With nothing to believe

My face broke the surface
I gulped in smoky air
Eyes frantically searching
Until I saw you there

On the shore you waited
Waving arms so lean
I treaded water calmly
Not sure what this could mean

In the middle of the ocean
I needed to get to land
But the bridge I burnt was gone
Too far a swim, the sand

Smoldering in the water
Were bits of our charred link
I hoisted onto the closest
And prayed it didn’t sink

Stepping ever lightly
I made my way to shore
Worried and elated
Not knowing any more

Finally I reached the ground
And simply said hello
Pain blurred into memory
Time began to slow

Catching up on all the things
Life could never cease
Shedding tears, cracking jokes
The words so much a feast

Never have I had to cross
A bridge I burned to ash
And though I couldn’t see a choice
Hindsight says ‘too rash’

Now I’m battle worn and burnt
Yet standing all the same
Building this on solid ground
Total honesty the frame.

~shygirl

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That kind of friend…

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This is the kind of friend I try to be am.  During the year of discovery, otherwise known as 2013, I realized that I didn’t have ANY friends of this caliber.  I am a giver, they are takers.  Of course, I played a major role in facilitating those lop-sided relationships – I own that sad little fact. I also own the fact that I woke up, realized (with help) that it was causing me unnecessary grief, and began cutting ties. I quit a job that I really loved because the grown-ups around me were filled with hateful words and ugly thoughts – in a setting where it was ABSOLUTELY hypocritical and uncalled for.  I drifted far away from my best friend, even though it left me very lonely.  I know my thankful list was yesterday, but I am so indebted and thankful to my Sir for giving me a greater understanding of what is important in life and what real friends are made of … and for helping me find the strength to burn those toxic bridges.  A few more bridges may be alight soon, but I am prepared.  Those fires will keep me warm inside and guide my way.

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