Do not let that board fall.
The long 1×3 is balanced on my stomach.
It is neither sanded nor finished.
The edges are jagged and splintered.
My hands are handcuffed behind my back.
I’m laying on them and the metal is digging into my arms and my lower back.
It isn’t comfortable in the least…
But I am.
I focus on my breathing because the board teeters with breaths too big, too fast.
Okay. I’ve got it.
But now the wheel.
The wheel that drew blood when I unpacked it.
Sir is running the wheel up and down one side… Neck to knees…and now the other.
I jump a little, but no…
Balance the board.
Don’t let that board fall.
He brings out the clothespins.
I don’t know which, probably plain mixed with some I’ve engraved… Pins that say “loved” or “His” or “owned” or “surrender”.
They pinch and burn.
I settle quickly.
I won’t let the board fall.
Tweezer clamps go on nipples.
Sliding the ring up, squeezing harder.
I breathe easy.
All of the pain makes me warm.
Actually I’m getting hot…
Am I sweating?…
Sir starts playing between my legs.
The pain is pleasure is pain is pleasure.
All sensation is the same and it is sending me over.
My head is fuzzy.
I feel and I want.
Right now, that’s all I am – feeling and wanting.
Sir reminds me to keep the board balanced.
I had forgotten!
But it’s still there, wobbling, but it is still on my belly.
There is more, but I’ve gotten lost.
Now it is time.
The board comes off.
And then the first pin.
Sir’s tongue immediately seeks out the burning skin where the pin was.
Turns the pain into pleasure once again.
Each pin removed, followed by His tongue.
I am floating.
No. Not yet.
He rolls me over, removes my handcuffs.
My wrists are so sore!
My back, too.
I’m coming back down to earth and now it just hurts.
I shimmy down the bed, feet hit the floor.
Oh. That’s the board!
There’s nothing quite like it.
This is hard, savage, raw.
No time to think now.
I’m going to come.
For Sir. For the board.
He says do it.
Fire on my bottom.
Fire inside me.
Sir is not finished with me, but…
My brain is going to leave for a while.
Forever might be good.
Sir is playing with me now.
I am the best when I’m nothing.
Smiling and coming.