I’m tired of always trying.
No, I’m not giving up on anything. In fact, just the opposite.
I simply need to do.
Why should I try so hard to be submissive? I already know I am submissive…even when I fight it… so I should stop trying and start being. (I’m pretty sure Mynx gets the credit for this!)
Why should I hope for Sir to realize something? It has been proven, time and time again, that He apparently cannot intuitively know what I’m thinking or wanting (dammit!)… so I should stop hoping and start talking.
*that comes off a tad bitchy doesn’t it? I don’t mean it that way. My Husband knows me well and there are plenty of times He knows exactly what I need and want. I’m just very good at covering those things up…He says it is my way to maintain control. I say…not all the time..but…well, He is probably right.
Why should I continue to wish for things to happen or get done? I’m very capable and I need to stop wishing, and just get it done or let it go.
So, I am done trying. It is wearing me out, physically and mentally. From here on out, there is only do. (please feel free to remind me of this the next time I hit the bottom)
***And since I hate that my last post was such a downer, I’d like to mention that Sir and I got everything worked out (at a snail’s pace, but still!) and we are good. Very good. More on that Thursday. 🙂