new year, new…

Me? No, probably not.

The moment I dare to think I will have the time or the words to jump back into my blog, life knocks me down and then it’s all I can to do manage the minimal day to day.

That’s okay, life is okay, Sir and I are okay, and all will continue to be okay. Day by day. Just keep fucking swimming.

But I’m not here to fuss or to vent or to moan about things that aren’t quite right. Not today.

Today I’m here to say Happy New Year! I am here to say that laughter through the tears is the way to go! Mostly, I’m here to ruminate on my little Etsy shop. Not to plug it, or to convince you to purchase something (but feel free, we make it all with love and pain in mind). I just want to remind you that little things are, in fact, the biggest things.

My shop is small. We sell heavy duty spreader bars, burned spoons, loopy pain devices, and recently added enamel pins which are an unexpected hit. We don’t sell a lot, but it has picked up slightly. Usually the uptick comes when we need it most and I just feel so thankful – like a higher power is looking out. Yeah, my god totally supports my BDSM shop. Praise be. ūüėČ

My favorite part about running this little side-hustle isn’t the small boost to income, it’s the connection of it all. The open and frank conversations with likeminded individuals. No pretense. No embarrassment. Questions. Answers. Discussions. About sensation or strength, Dominant & submissive gifts, custom words.

Recently I’ve had two gift orders wherein I’ve handwritten the dictated message. I love it! I love getting a glimpse into the lives of others on similar paths, or very different ones. I love being a voyeur. I love getting to be a part of these dirty little gifts that are also sent with so much love. It’s really life-affirming for me, which I know sounds a little extra, but it is. The small moments remind of the validity of our choices and preferences. Our needs may not be the norm, but we aren’t the only ones. I need that because sometimes, even after all these years, I start to worry that I’m not ‘right’ or that this dynamic is just a manifestation of my fucked-up-ness. I’m not good at friends, and sometimes that gets lonely and very isolating. But having this meager shop (and this blog when I utilize it) gives me a sense of community, belonging, and understanding that I’d otherwise not have.

In the new year, I hope to rekindle my affair with this blog and to invest more time and research (ha!) into new things for my shop. Hold me accountable! Send me a message asking what’s up! Even if you don’t want to buy, follow my shop, follow my blog, let’s chat!

And if any of you have ever purchased, thank you from the depths of my black heart and just know that I secretly consider you party of my kinky, dirty family.

Much love & laughter to all!

Happy weekend!




big pimpin…

Back in April, Sir and I¬†wanted a spreader bar, but He wasn’t thrilled with anything we found.¬† So He made one, then a few more… which led to opening an Etsy shop.¬†¬†They are pretty badass, if I do say so myself.¬† Cold, hard, unyielding stainless steel…


Recently we have added what we are calling CandyBars to the shop. 36 inches of stainless steel powder coated in your choice of four colors.

candybars¬†Of course we needed to have one of our own… for market research!¬†Between my two bars, I’m a happy girl. The CandyBar is perhaps my favorite because it is not¬†quite as cold as the uncoated bar. I’m still searching and the the quality ofour bars is far superior to anything we’ve run across.¬† The cost is fairly competitive considering how expensive stainless steel is. And all of the hardware is stainless… moisture is NOT a problem!

Anyway… ’tis the season of giving and all so I am offering all of my readers 20% off the CandyBars. Follow the link, or click on a picture, and use coupon code 20OFFCANDYBAR (expires 12-08).

Feel free to ask any questions.

Happy December!