thinking [take it away] thursday

Sir and I have a lot of things...
Many small rituals, many things that Sir does to help me and my brain.

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I love them all…
The rope while I’m working
The demands to kneel in public
The pictures He requests
The sitting on the floor
The nightly hair brushing
The words I write on my body
The cuffs and collar (even on date night!)
The necklace
The ring
The bracelet
The tasks
The choking
The beatings
The “little light”
The “Su-B”
The removal of panties in the middle of the store
The play
The rules
All the millions of other things that are outward expressions of our relationship.

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But if you took it all away?
If all of those things were suddenly gone?
What would we have then?

Hmmmmmm…
I would still have a Dominant.
He would still have a submissive.
We would still have a deeply rooted, 24/7 D/s relationship.

Why? Because…
D/s is not about the “things”.
It’s not about the tasks, or the sex, or all of the lovely reminders.
D/s is who we are. As people. As a couple.
D/s is not something that can be taken away.
It will not fade into oblivion because, just as we actively tend to our marriage, we tend to our D/s dynamic.
Oh, perhaps some of the things will fall by the wayside… they’ll most certainly evolve and change… That is life and that is okay.

But holy crap, I love all of it!!! Let’s be real…
I love everything Sir does for me, with me, TO me.
And yes, sometimes I get a little pouty if I think there is something I’m missing. I am a needy girl, after all.
But when it really comes down to it, I know in my heart that the only thing I need is Sir, not the things.

I am submissive to Him, in all things, in all ways, for the rest of my days.

That is 24/7. That is D/s. That is marriage.
That is love.

Happy Thursday.
~shygirl

Thinking [growth] Thursday

Has it really already been a week?  Has it only been a week?  I have been inundated with sad this week.  Not my sad, but sad from various people around me.  I feel for them, though there is nothing to be done.  One of the sad bits is the end of a relationship – my sister’s.  Her marriage lasted just over three years and it seems they have grown apart – different goals, different life ideas.  These things happen…but, naturally, it has me thinking…

Sir and I will be married 15 years next month.  We had a child first, and then married relatively young, and we both have done a lot of changing and growing and evolving (and on occasion, some devolving), but we have done all of this together, with each other.  With each growth, each change, we turned to one another and basically said “Hey, grow with me!”.  And we did… our relationship has been the sunshine that we reach for in our growth, so that we are always headed in the same direction.  Make no mistake, I know marriage is a ton of work.  Relationships require constant acknowledgment, encouragement and assessment.  I think, maybe, it is easier to grow apart.  Life happens – the choices you make, the company you keep, the words you hear – all of it plays a role and can make things quickly go south.

Two people living together, but having separate lives, cannot work for long.  Can it?  Can you separate your work self from your married self and keep that up?  Can you have a healthy relationship while thinking, being and living only for yourself?  Maybe you can, i’m sure people do, but I cannot.  In every thing I do, in every action I take, I always keep my Husband in mind.  He doesn’t know this, or maybe He does, but I’ve never come out and said it.  I want to please Him, yes, but more than that I want to make sure our marriage stays strong and happy.

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It has been seven hours since I wrote that top part, and I now know quite a bit more about the situation. It would seem my sis and her husband were not a good fit from the get-go. It is still sad, but is for the best.

I am very grateful that Sir and I are a perfect fit and that we can grow side by side, always with common goals and ideas.

I wonder…how did you know you found your perfect fit and how do you ensure that you do not grow apart?

Thinking Thursday has become rambling Thursday… sorry about that. It’s hard to finish a post in one sitting lately!