fresh start Friday: My life, with a little balance

I speak often of my shortcomings and struggles because it helps me work through them.  I try to speak just as often about my triumphs and happiness, but it is much easier to write about the things that are wrong.  I’ve always been like that – anytime I’ve kept a journal, it reads like a giant gripe-fest.  When I’m happy and settled, I just don’t have much to say.  That isn’t fair to me, or to my Sir, or to anyone that happens to read my rambling tales.

I’m feeling good this morning.  My Sir read yesterday’s post about communication and had very succinct and helpful feedback.  As always.  He makes me feel cherished and safe, even while I think I am falling apart on the inside.  We are truly a wolf pack, together till the end… and we’ve got this. No matter what jumps in our way, we’ve got this!!


On to the balance:

I’m not great at making New Year’s resolutions – one year, my resolution was to order something online every week because getting packages makes me happy!  I’m not even joking – I wrote that down and was very proud I came up with it!  Ha!  This year, though, I didn’t really make a “resolution”, but more of a pact with my Sir.  We are going to have good Karma and I am going to put positive thoughts into the air.  There are some big things we are trying to do this year and normally I would be very anxious, worried and probably a bit negative.  That approach has never worked so my Sir has forbidden it altogether!  It can be difficult at times to think positively, but as soon as I catch myself beginning to worry about logistics and all that could go wrong, I quickly think “GOOD _________ KARMA”.  Elle wrote about her good parking Karma and that really hit home for me (and my Husband).  I don’t much care about the parking, but I say that phrase multiple times per day with a few other words to fill in the blank.  I do not care how crazy you think it sounds, IT WORKS!  Put good things into the universe and you will receive good things.  Negative begets negative.  So simple, and so easy to forget.  Try it out, let me know if it works for you.  2014 is the year of positivity!  Why?  Because my Sir said so.  It’s a beautiful new world!!




Push the button


Sometimes, I feel like I need an actual submit button. Sometimes, I fight submission tooth and nail. Sometimes, I feel like submitting is just giving in. Sometimes.

Other times, most of the time, I can think of nothing but submitting. Every morning I make the bed, I silently reflect on how I want the day to go…with the kids, with life, with Sir. Lately, my reflection is more about my submission. How can I be better? How can I submit and please Him when He is at work all day? How can I quiet the negative words in my head? I’m happiest when submitting, so why in the world do I put up such a fight?

I think about these things daily. I’ve always been a pretty happy girl, but only in this last year have I found true  contentment. I never understood I wasn’t content until I gave my submission. Now, I cannot fathom my world without D/s or feeling that life-altering contentment it brings.

So, today…

I will be in control of my actions, doing everything with true purpose.

I will take hold of my sharp tongue, making sure my words lift up and speak the language of my soul.

I will pay special attention to my thoughts, letting go of insecurities and focusing on my beautiful life.

I will be thankful for every single blessing, big and small, and toss everything else to the wind.

It is going to be a good day.