stress + me

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You’re a bitch, Stress.

I’ve been researching.
Buying and selling a house is, by all accounts, one of the most stressful events in a person’s life.
Always listed in the top 5.
Usually in the top 3.
And multiple sources claim it is more stressful than a breakup.

Now imagine that stress… For over a year.
Hi. That’s me!
But the really high stress has been the past few months.

On top of carrying two houses, let’s throw some more things into the stress clusterfuck, just for giggles! Like…

Appliances that need replaced, rooms that rain inside (this home is brand new, folks!), emails to almost-adult daughter’s counselor and principals, meetings and ambushes by said administration, the boy’s new devastating migraines, the middle daughter’s thirteen-year-old-ness, moving two kids to a new school district mid-year, self imposed guilt for quitting a job, a mom schedule that makes any other job pretty far fetched, legs bitten by ants, a truck needing replaced, Christmas, no real internet, no real television, no real people to talk to, braces to be had, wisdom teeth to be pulled, eye exams to be scheduled, classes to get out of, my clumsy hurt dad… I could keep going…but my water is getting cold so I’ll stop.

Everyday I wonder, how will I get through this bout of crushing stress and worry? And then I saw this:

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Yes, I’ll just keep breathing, I suppose. I cannot recall a time in all of my 38 years that I’ve felt so stressed, so overwhelmed, so incapable. Oh it could always be worse! I know that all too well. But I also know that…

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Therefore I keep repeating to myself…

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And it will. Everything passes, moves right on along. I’m going to move along, too, singing all the while.

And of course there’s always the fact that Sir loves me no matter what because…

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Thank God for Him. I’m sure He’s tired of holding me up and keeping me together. (Though, I don’t think He minds doling out the regular beatings.)

Happy Tuesday. Tomorrow I’ll be bringing the D/s back.
~shygirl

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thinking [no words] thursday

Oh today I have no words to press.
Nothing worth anything, anyway.

We’ve been moving.
It sucks on so many levels.
The new house is lovely, I’m quite thankful.
But the actual process? It’s the balls.
Lots of things are balls lately.
Lots of things are different, yucky different.
Lots of things are difficult.
Lots of things are making me cry.
Lots of things are just total shit.

And I can’t talk about any of it!
Even if I could, who the hell would I talk to?!
Sir has heard it all.
I refuse to keep laying it on Him.

So I’ll suck it up and cry it out and just keep swimming.
What other choice do I have?!

None.

And so…
I have no words.


“Don’t Say Nothing”

You keep talking that same, same song
But love lost
Make it hard to get along
I get it
If it’s wrong then it’s wrong
But you talkin’ nothing
‘Bout all kinds of something
So…

You got nothing to say
(Don’t say nothing)
You got nothing to give
(Don’t say nothing)
You got something to bring, well
(Show me something)
You got nothing to say
(Don’t say nothing)

I walk this line like my mama told me
So why you wanna pick on
Lil’ ol’ me?
I got nothing
I can’t give you what you need
Skin like mine, ain’t got no blood to bleed
(So turn around and leave)
And come back when there’s something to believe
Until then…

You got nothing to say
(Don’t say nothing)
You got nothing to give
(Don’t say nothing)
You got something to bring, well
(Show me something)
You got nothing to say
(Don’t say nothing)

Your cheap talk
(It grow like weeds)
Your cheap talk
(It grow like weeds)
Your cheap talk
(It grow like weeds)
It grow just like weed under the lights for me

Your cheap talk
(It grow like weeds)
Your cheap talk
(It grow like weeds)
Your cheap talk
(It grow like weeds)
‘Cause always talking something
‘Bout all kinds of nothing so…

You got nothing to say
(Don’t say nothing)
You got nothing to give
(Don’t say nothing)
You got something to bring, well
(Show me something)
You got nothing to say
(Don’t say nothing)

~shygirl