thinking [hard out here] thursday

Sometimes, the times are just hard.
A swirling mass of change with everything in the air.
Living in limbo.
Not knowing what’s happening, when or where.
Should I speak, maybe silence is better.
Who is there, who isn’t really.
Walking through the thickest of fog, no sense of direction.
The only light is Sir.
But even Sir gets lost in the dark on occasion.
When both are lost, we hold hands and power through.
That’s the only choice.
He leads, I follow.
I try to rise in my submission.
He dominates.
We gather strength.
Every word, every task, every look, every bruise, every touch becomes my compass.
He calms me down.
I try to lift Him up.
I want to be strong.
I want to rise above.
I will. I do.
Even when it takes a minute, I rise.
Because of Sir.
For Sir.
I need to rise now, when things are so heavy.
I feel a little broken, a little less me, without my muchness.
He lifts me. He always lifts me.
But maybe that’s too much.
Maybe that’s not fair.
But it’s how we are.
I’m so thankful, even in the midst of this disarray.
How would this go without 24/7 D/s?!
I’m glad not to never find out.
For tonight, I shall breathe and serve.

Happy Thursday… At least it’s almost over!
~shygirl

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