silence!

I am saying things I always say.
I am…
A broken record, begging for the needle to be picked up.
A groove worn so deep in the ground, hot liquid will erupt soon.
A needy bee, buzzing around, searching for a place to land.
A relentless wave, eroding every piece of earth it touches.
A favorite tee-shirt, now threadbare and full of holes.
A busted knee that refuses to heal, because the scabs always get scratched away.
An open faucet, spilling into a sink that cannot drain quite fast enough.
A knock-knock joke about a banana, never getting to the orange.
A hall of mirrors, repetitive and disorienting
An echo, infinitely repeating, until the sound is simply background noise.
I am saying things I always say.
I am…
silent.

~shygirl

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thinking [said I am] Thursday

I am a lot of things.
I have a lot of bad qualities.
I am impatient, insecure.
I am a worrier and maybe a bit pessimistic.
I am stubborn.
I can’t name all the bad qualities – I just don’t have the time.

I have a few good qualities.
I am funny.
I am loyal.
I love fiercely.
I am honest.

There is one quality that I really despise in a human.
I hate it.
This quality – I have always taken pride in not having.
Going so far as to say, ‘I may be all those things, but at least I’m not that one.’
Until now.

So I wonder:
If you don’t feel you are something, but someone says you are…
Does it make it so?
Does their perception of you mean that you are the thing you so detest?
If people see you in a certain light, even if you think they are wrong, isn’t it a failure on your part?

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So maybe I am this thing I hate.
I try not to be a hypocrite, so if I am what they say I am…
I guess I hate myself, too.

Not all truths are good.
Not all honesty is freeing.
Sometimes…

Silence is golden.

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Happy Thursday…
~shygirl