almost is not enough

I am almost there. 
I am still almost there.  Every single time I get to the point where I feel it, my brain thinks “yes, this is happening” and then it is out the window.  The experience is still fantastic and great and all of those things, but it isn’t there.

Maybe I take that back, I’m fairly certain it happened in the shower last week, but with so much water anyway, I refuse to count it. 

So I’m stuck at almost there and I’m really hung up on it.  I know, I should enjoy the ride (believe me, I enjoy every ride and every single type of orgasm I have) but I feel a little jilted.  I feel a little bit broken.  I feel like I am disappointing my Sir (He, of course, would say that is crazy!).  He is doing everything right, my brain just takes me out of it.  At this point, I’m trying to let it go and not even worry about it.  So what, I haven’t squirted?!  I have a ridiculous amount of orgasms, I should be content. But nooooooo, that isn’t good enough… because I am almost there.  I feel it. I want it. And still…I deny it. 

I don’t want to be almost there forever.

Thinking Thursday

This will be the third thinking post I’ve begun.  I have quite a bit on my mind and I’m having a helluva time picking something.  Join me in thinking about…

Things I don’t know about sex.

How in the world would one think about things they don’t know?!  I know a lot, but what I don’t know outnumbers what I do probably a thousand to one.  I haven’t done actual research into that statistic, but let’s just go with it.

Specifically, I am thinking about orgasms.  I like them.  Sex is one of my favorite activity, and I’ve had a lot of orgasms.  I get off easily, never really needed foreplay, and have multiple orgasms every time. I can get off by pure fucking, or a little clit action, or anal only, with just a leg… I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, it’s just how I’m made. So I’ve never really THOUGHT about orgasms other than to think that I want one, I want more, when can I have one.


Apparently, this has not been my wisest course of action.  I should have been researching and thinking and practicing all of these (how many? 36 – 13 = 23) TWENTY THREE years.  I read Elle’s post yesterday and kind of felt like I’d been punched in the gut!  Seriously!  Squirting?…everyone?…welcomed?!

Now, I am certainly no prude (remember, sex is my favorite activity!) and I’ve seen quite a bit of porn.  I enjoy watching porn, actually.  I’ve seen girls squirting, but I always just thought… what the hell did I think?  I guess that it was rare? A weird, special talent? An accident of nature?  I’m not sure – I really never sat down to think about it.  It looks messy and dehydrating, so I just wanted those porn girls to grab a drink of water!

Turns out, I’ve been sheltered and am completely in the dark on this subject.  HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!?  Why has no one ever told me that this is something I should be trying to figure out?!  Make no mistake – I’ve had orgasms where I shake and shudder, where I feel like I am not even in my body anymore, where you could do ANYTHING to me and I just wouldn’t care, where I nearly pass out, where I utter sounds I didn’t even know I could make.  I’ve felt like I needed to pee, but didn’t need to pee… and fought that feeling with all that I had.  Maybe I was close?  Maybe I can do this? If only I’d known!

Of course, as soon as I read it, I forwarded the post to my Husband with the subject of my email “whaaaaattttttt?”.  He responded with a “wwwooooooooowwwwww’.  Dumbfounded, the both of us.

Today, I am thinking about this and wondering, what ELSE am I in the dark about?  What other mind-blowing activity am I missing out on? Tell me! Really, if you are reading this and you have some specific thing that you do, or like, that I maybe don’t know about, please share!  Orgasms make me happy and I’ve had a rollercoaster of a week (plus my Sir’s birthday is Tuesday and new activities will make Him happy, too!!)

By the way… squirting, full-body orgasm?  Challenge accepted!!