thinking [undeserved] thursday

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This is where I belong,
safe on His chest, my Home.

The words He says,
the nicest I’ve ever heard.

He calls me lovely things,
though I am totally unworthy.

Tears roll freely.
I know this is His honesty.

He sees things in me –
they just aren’t there.

I try to tell Him,
to let Him down easy.

He will not hear me.
Truth, He says. All of this is truth.

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I really love His words.
I want so badly to be these words.

I try to be what He thinks, see what He sees.
But I am always falling short.

So these words that I love?
Well, they sting a little, too.

Eighteen years by now.
He has always been so sure of me.
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How much longer until He sees
that I am not what He believes?

I don’t deserve these words.
I don’t deserve Him.

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I’m not the good He sees,
but I do try. I will keep trying.
And if all else fails,
I am well aware of how lucky I am.

Thank you, Sir, for never giving up and for thinking such absurd, ridiculous, beautiful and kind things of me.

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Happy Thursday!!
~shygirl