a quick note…

I just wanted to wish all of blogland happy holidays! I know I’ve been pretty scarce the past few months but thanks for reading, and double thanks for writing! I’ve really missed you all!! 

I have been working on some things and hope to be back with a vengeance in the coming weeks. 

Life around here is good… the D/s is strong, the love is abundant, and the laughs are nonstop. 

Warm hugs and kisses! (it is actually unseasonably warm here… I’m not complaining!) Enjoy your loved ones! Merry everything!!!



Following up


(This photo has nothing to do with anything, but I love it so!)

Sometimes I read blogs and feel pretty invested in the subject matter…only to never hear of a resolution or a follow up. I try to go back to the original post to read through every comment, hoping for some sort of closure, but I feel like a stalker doing that! This is the nature of blogland, but it goes against my nature…even with my own blog. Maybe I stand alone in this, but maybe not. Either way, it’s update time!

My sweet pet is still missed daily. I’ve dried the tears for the most part, but I’ll find a toy or see a commercial (eyeroll) and cry a bit. I was so touched and lifted up by all the kind, heartfelt comments on the original post. I cannot accurately express my gratitude with words, but THANK YOU will have to suffice.

I have been needy all week. I spoke to my Husband a little bit about it Monday, but as He was falling asleep…not the best time. I’m a chicken.

The next day, I just wanted something to do for Him. Anything. He was working, I sent Him a text asking if He needed anything done or purchased. “nah, I’m good, but thanks” was the response.
I’m pretty sure I responded wih “ugh. Ok. :/”  Clearly, I’m in a funk.
So, later yesterday, I sent Him the needy post…copied & pasted into an email. (No, He doesn’t read my blog. Yes, He knows of it.) I got zero response. Last night, I was feeling His Dominance in lots of ways.  All was well.

Cut to this morning, still no email response (strange!) and I was back to feeling out-of-sorts. I email Him again, this time just laying out how I feel when I get no response…like I’m spiraling downward. No response to that as of yet, but He did respond to the original email. Good grief! The response was positive, and yet-

I feel like I’m on the razor edge of something. I’m bleeding but don’t know which side I should land on, so I stay on top of the blade and it keeps cutting deeper. As I type this, I’m pretty sure that blade is my silence, my shyness, my insecurities. Crap.

And since I had a moment of strength and sent the second email, I know we will have to talk about this! So hard for me – I always feel so raw and exposed. That armor I had for years just isn’t around now and all this honesty makes me…nervous…scared…delicate…little…

This has been such a long week and it’s only Wednesday! I’m going to turn this around tonight, maybe after a drink or two. (positive thinking until He gets home!)

Feeling like this: Radiohead – Just