People change.
We are forever changing and evolving. So why then, is it frowned upon when someone’s change no longer aligns with you.
If when you first met, there were more similarities than differences but now one of you has changed so dramatically they become nearly unrecognizable, can you even bridge the divide? Things you knew are now null and void, so how is it that the feelings are expected to be the same? People grow together or they grow apart, right? But sometimes it goes beyond growth into just a whole different person.
It may even be a good change in the life of the one doing the changing! Good for them, but bad for you. Accepting someone as they are is great, loving them even as they become a different person is important, understanding it is best for their life is admirable… But what you don’t have to do, what you SHOULD NOT have to do, is carry on with them the same as before… with no one mentioning the divide, the change, the alternate universes we now live in and with. But so often, we just say nothing and keep up the sick charade. It’s exhausting and pretty sad.
Me? I haven’t changed so much as grown. I am the same person, hopefully a little better, but ultimately me. I hold the same convictions, feel the same about all the big stuff, have a very dirty mouth and the sarcasm never stops.
Once, we were similar. I think we were anyway… could be more pretending and lies… But I like to believe we were similar… And now?
We aren’t. Not in any real way.
There’s no hate. No ill-will. No animosity. But there is definitely a bit of W O W and a small smattering of ouch from time to time.
It’s a lot to take in and mull over, to analyze and digest. There are questions – of how and where and when and why and what the fuck – that will never be answered.
I don’t know how someone morphs into someone else. Not sure that’s information I even need to know. There’s change. And then there’s change. I know you’re supposed to meet people where they are, but I’m tired and maybe it’s time for someone to meet me where I am.
Until that happens (I am not holding my breath), I’ll just hole up in the sweet little world I have with Sir and our family.
Happy New Year.
Happy Thursday!
– shygirl
serenity through submission 