thinking [i’m not the one] thursday

Look, I’m not the leader.
I’m not the instigator.
I don’t want to get the party started or the ball rolling.
I have no desire to take the reins or grab the bull by the horns.
I cannot be the one to poke and to prod.
I’m not going to be the one to lay it all out again.
I don’t want to be the only one the with the feelings, constantly assessing and evaluating.
I cannot be the one pushing.
I don’t want to be the one pulling.
I’m not the engine, driving it forward.
I cannot be the one sprinting ahead.
I’m just not the one.

But I’ll tell you…
I am the one that stands beside.
Not above.
Not below.
Meet me right here, in the middle.
Different, but equal and this time, level.
Hand in hand.
Returned in kind.
I am that one.

Longest week ever, but it’s coming to a close. Happy Thursday!
~shygirl

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His Impact

Beginning
Harsh, jolting
Protesting, begging
Strong arm holding
Push, struggling

Middle
Rhythmic, settling
Crying, cleansing
Deep words praising
Lifting, coming

End
Intense, testing
Melting, enduring
Hard lashes breaking
Floating, exchanging

After
Sliding, sinking
Worshipping, thanking
Two souls colliding
Completing, loving

*******
This was another prompt from Sir, for His private viewing. However, the things I’m trying to write lately aren’t very well-rounded (or coherent!), so I requested permission to post this.

Impact has become one of my favorite things and the harder, the more it hurts, the better. Sometimes that frightens me a little. Deep down, I know it isn’t “wrong”, but at times I feel like I am, and that can manifest as a struggle – against the blows, against Sir… especially when the impact alone brings me to climax. This poem reflects the stages.

Happy Tuesday!
~shygirl

His control

Take what is yours,
Leave me a shell.
But give me a choice-
My personal hell.
No need to wonder,
No need to ask.
Demand. I’ll respond,
Completing your task.
Ravish my soul,
My mind cannot stray.
Use what you own,
So I can obey.
No lapses in time,
No pause, nor a break.
Control must be steady,
To become what you make.

This was a task from Sir. It wasn’t intended to be posted, but I asked permission because this is the easiest place for me to document my thoughts and feelings.

~shygirl