2013: It’s been real

I have had three really pivotal years.  These are not the years my children were born, though those were life-altering and wonderful, for sure.  These are not the years of big moves or weddings or jobs.  These are the years that changed the fabric of my being, the years that shaped and molded my soul.

1990.  Certainly not my favorite, but a life-changer for sure.

1997.  The year I made my wisest decision, despite obstacles left and right.

2013.   A game-changing, world-upending, dream-fulfilling year.

You read that right, 2013 shaped up to be an impact year of the highest caliber…and it isn’t quite finished!  No denying it, this year was filled with turmoil.  Outwardly, I probably looked the same to most people, but I started the year in quiet despair.  I was coming to terms with who I was and who I wasn’t.  I was trying to figure out if what I thought, what I knew, myself to be was a viable option for my Husband.  I debated and fought with myself… do I pursue, do I drop the act, or do I try to bury myself again.  Turns out, burying what is already dug up doesn’t exactly work.  With no other option, I came clean.

In 2013,  I cried rivers of tears  – some silent and solitary, some loud and over-the-top.  I cried more this year than ever before, I think.  Becoming who you really are is hard work and, at times, very ugly.

In 2013, I battled my self-esteem, my fear, my doubt, my shy… I haven’t quite won the war, but I will continue to fight.

In 2013, my Husband became my Sir, my Dominant.  That He was willing to offer that of Himself, and take me on in that manner, has proven far beyond my wildest dreams.  He is Sir not only in the bedroom, but in LIFE, and I am perpetually smitten and amazed with Him.

In 2013, I have tried to communicate better.  It is probably the single hardest thing for me to do, but well worth the struggle.

In 2013, relationships around me have crashed and burned while Sir and I have gotten stronger.  I also let some friendships and associations fall by the wayside because I just don’t have the time or energy for toxicity in my life – but it made for some lonely times.

In 2013, I made some friends (okay, they are online, but I’m fairly certain they are TRUE) that understand and support.  That is what friends are supposed to do, I think, and I hope to be that sort of friend, too.

In 2013, there were trials, tests, frustration, loss, anger, self-doubt, but there was much more understanding, love, happiness, PEACE, acceptance and growth.

In 2013, I was able to quiet my mind.  Those moments have been brief, but they are there for the first time in my 36 years. That is HUGE.

2013 will go down in history as a monumental year for my relationship with my Husband.  D/s has affected absolutely every aspect of our lives and we (and the family)are so much better for it.  (Sir, you would agree, I’m sure??)

I am confident that 2014 will be fantastic around here – with happiness, love, and laughter, how could it not? … never mind all of the delicious, kinky fuckery to be had!

Here’s to a very Happy New Year!!


Good, clean, dirty fun


An innocent bath.  That is all I wanted – a relaxing, innocent bath. 

Maybe that is not exactly true… we are both here, in a confined space, naked, wet – the only question is how long will it take to go from zero to 60?

Not long. Never very long.

Talking, laughing, touching, kissing… and then the sexiest words fall from your lips into mine.

“I want to fuck you.”

Too harsh for some, not sweet enough for others, but for me?

For me, these words are magical.  These words cut right down to my core and if I wasn’t ready before, I sure as hell am now.

Our mouths devouring, words repeating, mumbling yes and please – or maybe that is just in my head.

No matter, He knows I want the same, He knows I need the same.

He does not disappoint.

And just like Mr. Bubble, my Sir Makes Getting Clean Almost as Much Fun as Getting Dirty… because sometimes, it is one and the same.


Thinking [orgasm] Thursday

The holidays are upon us. In my case, they are trying to beat me down, but I’m a fighter and love buying gifts so I will come out on top!


On that note, and since I’m in a very festive mood, today I’m thinking about orgasms.

I’m pretty sure I have an orgasm addiction.  When I haven’t had one for a bit, I start jonesing for one. Then when I’ve had one, it is never enough, and I have five or six or seven or twelve. No matter how many I’ve had, I want more. Even if I’m sore or tired or out of my mind…I need more!

I don’t just like the actual orgasm, though. I love the buildup almost as much. The slow (or fast) climb, the edge, the maddening command not to release, the tension, the frustration, the command to “come. Now.” I love it all.

I also like the aftershocks…the falling from orgasm, only to crest into the next before the first is finished. I like the ruffled hair, the sweaty skin, the animalistic sounds that escape my lips.
I love how my ass gets numb, how my entire body gets tight and then relaxes. 

That’s not all! I like all sorts of orgasms. Clit-only orgasms are sometimes almost painful in the best possible way. G-spot orgasms are mind-blowing, especially if there is squirting involved. Anal orgasms are always so delicious…and still a bit surprising.  Orgasms from neck/shoulder biting should probably be embarrassing, but I love them anyway. Regular old penetration orgasms, however, are my very favorite!! Go figure… Those are the ones that send my head elsewhere and my body into overdrive, and quickly!

I suppose if you’re going to be addicted to something, orgasms are the way to go! I’m ready for my next fix now…

Happy Holidays! Hope you get everything you want.