thinking [struggle] thursday

Struggle. 

We all struggle. 

Your struggle may look different than mine, feel more important, BE bigger.

I know, things could be worse – things can ALWAYS be worse. 

But y’all! I am struggling right now!

I feel like I am on an island of struggle. 

I know if I could just jump off and swim to shore, I could find a little peace. 

But I am paralyzed, I am stuck… And I am so damn tired. 

I’m not looking for sympathy from you fine people. 

No, I just want to say: 

If you are struggling right now, with anything – You are not alone. 

We may be in different worlds, with different problems, but we all know the struggle. That fact must mean I’m not alone, either! That’s a little beacon of hope, right? Maybe..  collectively, separately… we’ve got this?!

I’m going with “hell yes” and sending mad props to Sir for helping me hold my head up.

Happy Thursday! 

~shygirl

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thinking [i like it] thursday

I live to be over Your knee.

Restrained within Your limbs.

Naked, vulnerable,  bottom in the air.

Your hand warms my flesh.

Kind caresses, gentle tickles.

Sweet, but we both know why I’m here. 

Your big hand lifts up, higher.

I wait for the impact, needy, impatient.

When I’ve given up, Your hand crashes down. 

I jump, I cry out, I wiggle on your lap.

You are steadfast and strong.

The onslaught begins.

Rarely a pattern, I think You’re afraid I’ll get lost. 

But tonight, I might get lost anyway. 

Left cheek, right cheek, center.

Center, left cheek, left cheek.

It’s so startling, but soon enough I calm.

I sink into it, tears threatening to fall.

Far too quickly, it’s over.

I want to be Your good girl, but I want more.

I think I need it.

Before I misbehave, You speak.

Bend over the bed.

I comply eagerl, listening to your retreating footsteps.

You return before I finish that thought.

Smackthud! The floggers hits hard.

Between my shoulder blades, causing me to flinch. 

Down my back, across my ass, the backs of my thighs.

And back up again. A beautiful, painful pattern this time.

Tears flow freely from my soul.

I’m not crying due to pain, but because of love.

Long ago, I explained this to You.

I never want you to worry – or to stop.

You tire of the flogger and pick up something else. 

Cracksting! The whip.

I was floating a little, but I’m back on the ground now.

This bites. In such a good way. 

I love the marks, the blood just at the surface. 

My back, my ass, my legs are on fire. 

I think I can’t take anymore, but I’m so glad I do.

Shortly, the whip joins the discarded flogger.

You pick up something else.

Thudboombloom! Ah! The metal loop.

The contrast between this and the whip is divine.

I don’t want it to stop, ever.

I want to float away, but You want me here.

I struggle to stay planted. I become still.

I am quiet. Living a full life within each strike.

It’s never long enough and tonight is no exception. 

You stop the torrent of blows.

But before I can protest,  politely of course…

You slam all the way into me.

We are one and I would do anything for You. 

You are my air, my water, my life.

A pump or two and I am gone.

Yours, and nothing else.
~shygirl

thinking [princess/property] thursday

He makes me feel like a princess, and like His property. 

If you ask me, I am no princess and I’m certainly not worthy of Sir’s admiration. He seems to think I hung the moon. He puts my happiness far ahead of His own… No… That’s not it… It feels like my happiness IS His happiness. He tries His hardest to give me all the things that would make me happy. Boots? Don’t worry, just buy them. Vacation? He’ll make it happen. Quit my meager job? No problem! He’ll pick up the slack. Extra loving? Done. Shoulder to cry on? Bring it. Listen to me on repeat? Patience and love is abundant. Whatever it is, big or small, He bends over backwards to do everything in His power to make sure I’m happy. I can’t dwell on it too often, because I’m soooo undeserving, but I know He loves me and would do anything for me. 

But you see, I love Him just the same.

He is no pushover, though! He may treat me like a princess, but He is well aware of my flaws and shortcomings. He never holds them against me, but He does help me face them, grow and overcome. His steadfast rules and firm hand (and spoon and belt and whip and…) keep me in line. He keeps me safe. He owns me. I am His property. 

I may be His prized possession, but be clear… I. Am. His. I aim to please Him. I want Him to be proud of me. I try to make sure He has what He needs and wants from me, from life.  That is what I am here for. Sure, that drive is part of my submission, but it’s also a part of marriage, of love. 

Everything is intertwined. Inseparable. The love, the D/s, the marriage, the life… It is all one. 

I am tickled pink to be His princess (no! He doesn’t call me this!) and His property all wrapped up in a somewhat stubborn, bratty package. It’s the best of everything and I will be thankful for Him every second of my life.

Happy Thursday!

~shygirl