oh today, good riddance

Today has been a day. Not the worst day, but definitely not a good day. Sharkbrain is in full effect and I’m running on pure emotion (and caffeine). All I want is for the rain to…

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far, far away to…

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But I am going to need a few things.

First up…

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…because even all alone, black eyeliner makes me happy.

Second…coffee! An unlimited supply of coffee, with cream and sugar of course!  You should know by now…

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Last, but certainly not least… island nights call for plenty of rum!! You know, to make me forget I’m on a damn island, all alone, and with no Super Target in sight.

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I’m not on an island, but I’ve got these three things in abundance…and love. I have crazy amounts of love. That’ll do, Donkey, that’ll do. ūüėČ

Happy weekend! Bottoms up (in every possible way)!!
~shygirl

thinking [undeserved] thursday

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This is where I belong,
safe on His chest, my Home.

The words He says,
the nicest I’ve ever heard.

He calls me lovely things,
though I am totally unworthy.

Tears roll freely.
I know this is His honesty.

He sees things in me¬†–
they just aren’t there.

I try to tell Him,
to let Him down easy.

He will not hear me.
Truth, He says. All of this is truth.

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I really love His words.
I want so badly to be these words.

I try to be what He thinks, see what He sees.
But I am always falling short.

So these words that I love?
Well, they sting a little, too.

Eighteen years by now.
He has always been so sure of me.
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How much longer until He sees
that I am not what He believes?

I don’t deserve these words.
I don’t deserve Him.

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I’m not the good He sees,
but I do try. I will keep trying.
And if all else fails,
I am well aware of how lucky I am.

Thank you, Sir, for never giving up and for thinking such absurd, ridiculous, beautiful and kind things of me.

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Happy Thursday!!
~shygirl

thinking [ Hh ] thursday

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I have signed my name with a lowercase leading letter for as long as I can remember. Handwriting analysts would equate that with low self-esteem, and while I’m the first to admit that my esteem could be better, I don’t think that is the case here. No, this decades long habit is what I like to call … foreshadowing. Let me explain…

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From the very beginning of this blog, when I refer to my Sir, I always capitalize: The ‘s’ in Sir, the ‘h’ in Him, He, His, Husband. I know it’s a small thing,¬†a silly little letter tweak, but the significance in my mind is great.¬†No attention has ever been drawn to it – by readers, or by Sir – and that was just fine by me. I do it because… simply put, I like it. That capitalization reminds me, no matter the subject, that He is in charge. It is an outward, yet private, sign of respect that I’ve never discussed or explained… it just feels right with my soul.¬†

As it turns out, though, this little letter thing has not gone under the radar! My Sir has taken silent note of it since day one and recently informed me that He loves and appreciates it! He has even incorporated it into His writing to me (which, yes, I also noticed and never mentioned). ‚̧
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Oh I know: such an odd thing to post about – a capital letter! I certainly never expected any kudos, but it makes my heart happy to know that Sir recognizes even the smallest signs of my submission…and praises me for them.

He will forever be the Capital letter, and I am only too thrilled to be the lowercase.
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Happy Thursday!
~shygirl