I don’t want to cause the drama.
I don’t want to make issues where there are none.
I don’t want to question everything.
I don’t want to feel so inadequate.
I don’t want to disappoint.
I don’t want to be disappointed.
I don’t want to expect.
I don’t want to wonder.
I don’t want to explain.
I don’t want to ask.
I don’t want to be insecure.
I don’t want to be jealous.
I don’t want to be needy.
I don’t want to be ugly.
I don’t want to crave.
I don’t want to teeter.
I don’t want to be afraid.
I don’t want to hide.
I don’t want to run.
I don’t want to pretend.
I don’t want to be weak.
I don’t want…
I don’t want to be the girl who always has an issue.
I don’t want to be the girl who drains.
Now what? I’ll stop!
I will figure out a way to control these jumbled thoughts of mine.
I will try to ignore these bad feelings when they threaten to take over. Why? Because I have nothing to really complain about. In our 17 years, my Sir has never let me go – He holds on tight. Maybe sometimes, I just need a little tighter, and maybe that’s okay.
I’ll start now. I will take it day by day. But for today? I’m going to rock this awesome life and live in a way that makes my Husband proud. Hell, I’ll live in such a way that makes me proud!
I am submissive and I am tired of creating useless battles in my head.
I will figure it out. I will change. I will …
I am working on me today…this week… this month… this year… this lifetime. I’ve droned on and on about my poor self esteem here and now is the time to really get to work. I can’t promise to never bring it up again, but for now, I’m done with it.
So, how about this instead: I love music. Not a day goes by that I don’t listen to music and sing right along with it…quite loudly. Music makes me happy and never fails to make me feel better when my day is less than stellar. I especially like music that makes me want to rally the troops and say “f#ck the haters!”, which is precisely the reason I’ll always be a punk rock girl at heart (as you see, though, my tastes are varied).
Join me in this sing-along and have a happy Thursday!
The song I currently sing in the shower:
One of my favorite songs EVER:
I feel this way in regard my daughters, now I am trying to feel this way about myself:
This one doesn’t have a video… but is absolutely worth listening to: